The obsessional problem

The same question on loop at 4am. The flash of disgust when your mind goes there. The vivid mental images. The trying to convince yourself it shouldn't matter, while that feeling in your gut insists it does.

And the relentless conversations, questions, researching and thinking about your partner's sexual past. These are the symptoms of retroactive jealousy.

Wishing your partner's past had been different, having your own standards and expectations - none of this is unnatural or unusual. It's what you do next that either keeps you stuck or moves you through it.

Retroactive jealousy is not the same for everyone.

For some people, it's mostly self-doubt - comparing, needing reassurance, wondering if you measure up. For others, it's more like anger - a nagging sense that something isn't right, and it never will be.

For a lot of people, it's a horrible mix of both. 

This course addresses both ends of the experience.

Instructor

Jason Dean

Psychotherapist

Jason is based at North Hampshire Clinic in Basingstoke, UK. He has extensive experience working with anxiety, OCD, relationship and sexual issues in clinic and via remote sessions.

Why is Past Tense different?

There are lots of books and courses offering solutions to retroactive jealousy. Here's what I do differently:

  • I treat retroactive jealousy as it actually shows up - thoughts and images that won't switch off, and the toll that takes on you and your relationship.

  • I specifically target the intense rumination and overthinking, often the biggest part of RJ.

  • I don't rely on meditation, affirmations, or "just let it go." There's nothing wrong with these things, but most cases of retroactive jealousy will eat them for breakfast.

  • Alongside the thinking work, I provide practical techniques for managing moments that feel overwhelming, urges that are sabotaging.

  • I don't ask you to pretend you don't mind or see your partner more positively. You're allowed to wish things were otherwise. What changes is what you do with that.

How it works

We follow the same process I use with clients in the room: identifying the drivers of your retroactive jealousy and the obsessive-compulsive tricks at work. Then we address the deeper doubts and regrets that made your partner's past so sticky and intolerable.

Drawing on real casework, we'll go from the first conversation to the specific work of getting unstuck from overthinking and rumination.

Course contents

    1. I can't stop thinking about their past

      FREE PREVIEW

    2. How to get the most from this course

    1. Their past or me?

    2. Reasonable or obsessional?

    3. Obsessional doubt is imagined

    4. What's your doubt?

    5. Exercise: noting your worries

    6. 7-11 breathing technique

    7. Seeing the sequence

    8. Exercise: stepping through your sequence

    9. What are you doing?

    10. Try this: step back from the debate

    1. Retroactive reasons

    2. Exercise: identify your reasons

    3. A sticky story

    4. Exercise: tell me a story

    5. Exercise: an alternative story

    6. Why we fall for it

    7. Try this: better questions to ask

    1. Your sense of self

    2. Try this: what does it say about you?

    3. A wobbly sense of self

    4. Try this: the martian's notepad

    5. A fortress

    6. Try this: plot your compulsions

    1. Back to certainty

    2. Try this: pause on the bridge

    3. Messy reality

    4. Try this: when the bubble beckons

    5. What to do instead?

    6. Curveballs

    7. Back to you

    1. Further resources

    2. Credits

About this course

  • £180.00
  • 34 lessons
  • 3.5 hours of video content

Is this a replacement for therapy?

No. But it asks the same of you that face-to-face therapy would. This isn't a lighter version - it's the same work, in a self-guided form that you can do privately and at your own pace.

Money-back guarantee

I want you to gain real insights into your retroactive jealousy and realise effective change. Hence I offer a 30-day money back guarantee, no questions asked.

Overcome your retroactive jealousy

Enroll today